Hard Talk

The past two nights Mom, Dad & I have been having the talks that you never want to have. Grandma is not doing well at all. Her heart keeps going into Afib and they have her on a bunch of different medicine to keep her heart rate down and to control her thyroid. This isn't sitting well with her, Grandma has always hated to take medicine of any kind for any reason. She has already said that she would take it in the hospital because she HAS TO, but that she wouldn't take it when she gets out. Well with out the medicine she will not live long becaue her heart will just stop and she has a DNR order. Also she has not eaten for the past two days because it is hard for her to swallow. They found a noduel on her thyroid, which could be nothing or as bad a cancer, but they aren't going to test it because at her age they aren't going to do anything about it anyway. At this point when she gets out of the hospital she will have to go to a nursing home/rehab center because right now she is so weak that she can't even get to the bathroom by herself. I know she won't like that, but there is no way that we can care for all of her needs at home.

Right now Grandma does not want to take her medicine, she does not want to eat and she asked that we not prolong this for her. She hates having to be taken care of and doesn't like seeing how much stress caring for her causes Mom. My gut feeling is that we won't have her much longer. It breaks my heart, but I don't want her to suffer either. It is a very hard time right now.